From The Editor: ‘Hold Space’ for Others
“Holding space” has recently become a buzzworthy phenomenon on social media, stemming from an emotional interview with the stars of the movie “Wicked.” While people online are using the phrase to mean keeping something fresh in one’s mind or focusing on feelings in the moment, the idea of “holding space” in the psychology world is something we as Christians should consider practicing in all our relationships.
The accepted explanation of “holding space” in mental health arenas is being emotionally present in the moment with others without trying to fix anything or anyone. Just being with them in relationship, allowing them to be and feel and express themselves without judgement, only giving love in return.
You may recognize this idea under a more commonly used name: the ministry of presence.
In chapter 12 of his letter to the Romans, Paul wrote, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (v 15). Much of the rest of this chapter speaks about what love in action looks like in relation to those around us. Love must be sincere (v 9). You should honor others above yourself (v 10). Share with those in need (v 13). Live in harmony, and don’t be proud or conceited (v 16). If we look at all of this put together, it feels more like he’s encouraging inaction over any productive change; we are urged to simply be in proper relationship rather than attempting to fix anyone’s circumstances.
In The Salvation Army, we are given many ways and countless opportunities to serve others and help mitigate difficult circumstances in people’s lives. But oftentimes, the people we are closest to — our friends and family — are experiencing emotional difficulties that we have no control over. Sitting with them and listening to their worries can make us feel pained and powerless. But that is part of our calling as Christ-followers: to honor them, share as there is need, be present with them in their pain and sorrow, and love them sincerely. This is an even deeper honor than handing out Angel Tree gifts at Christmas or hot meals on a canteen following a disaster. This is representing Jesus in the room. Allowing our arms giving the embrace to be His, our tears for them to be His own, and our hand squeezing theirs to embody the strong and loving grip of the Father.
As people aspiring to live like Jesus, there isn’t a higher calling. There can be no greater challenge or joy than to personify Christ in the moment with someone who needs Jesus. As we enter this new year, let’s “hold space” for those in our lives who need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Let’s remember that we aren’t called to fix everyone’s problems; we’re meant for something greater. We are called to represent Christ.